to be happy or to be right?

In life, sigh, we just can’t have everything, and in a relationship, we just can’t make it perfect. Yes, we can’t really own somebody, we just can have them for a while…I was in my most crucial stage of my medical history…and i want him to be there, not that his presence will change the results of the physical and laboratory exams but for me to have someone to hold on to, cuz i was becoming weaker and weaker after one test to another. when u under go confirmatory tests, lots of things are rattling in ur mind…what if…what if…unending what ifs…I was looking around, waiting…waiting for him…but he was no were to be found all i have i have is the lil’ kid whom i consider my younger bro and the other one is my badminton buddy…but my mind says- it could and should be him…there were excuses, there were alibis, but non of those touches my hemlines…“kung gusto ng tao gagawan ng paraan, kung ayaw ng tao maraming dahilan”. yes he was texting me every minute asking me if m okey,telling me “im praying for u”, etc… but i wanna hug him, to comfort me, to be there—PHYSICALLY! my goodness! isn’t that hard to understand? sobs…I crossed the “highest mountain” just to see u through when u only have one minor bruise and now that it’s my turn needing u, u can’t even cross the street?…instead of an overnight stay in the hospital…i retreated to my comfy pad…and pour out all my anger, sentiments, whatever, and while crying out my emotions i passed out…i only woke up when i heard beboy(my badminton buddy) laughing while watching tv beside me…then at 11pm when he realized im getting fine he left and i called up my best friend albert, then i poured out all my emotional upsets, after two hours, we have to cut our conversation cuz on the other line “his” mom called me up why “her son” is crying… and we talked but there was a stand off, after an hour of argument, we decided to hang up the phone for each other…then after 12 hours, we came face to face…same hard emotions but in low tone voices, controlled but not subdued…he has valid reasons but for me its not acceptable…there were apologies but its now passe’ and after 2 hours of word war, we now both face each other the premise of “shall we continue this relationship, or not?” and he started kissing me and we made love til the morning came…and now we are face with a one million dollar question…what is more important, to be happy or to be right?

everytime someone else fail, someone succeeded

I really agree with yesterday’s the buzz Kris Aquino’s comment on Mariel and Zanjo’s(abs-cbn talents) break-up with an angle of Robin Padilla’s coming in to wowowee. I am writing this not because I am hooked to chismiss, but Kris made a valid point that all of us should also be aware in loving someone and taking for granted the one we love.

Zanjo(am I right in spelling?), per Kris, made it clear from the very start to Mariel, that his priority will always be his family, to support them financially that is. Hence, he has to work and work(no play?- I don’t know) hence, he has the license to tell Mariel in some dates that “I can’t go”…Well, for me, it could be valid, and it could be “his way of alibi” not to go. Because I always believe in the saying that “love always find ways”, excuse me that is not copied from BDO…hmpf….

So being a woman of good breeding(girls are good in these-mapagtiis), Mariel, had accepted all these “excuses” in the guise of “working hard for the money”. So where’s Robin Padilla in that angle?…well…they (mariel and robin), met in wowowee, and Mariel’s initial statement was, “I am afraid to look at him in his eyes, cuz I might fall in love with him.”. Fall in “love” or fall in “lust”?, IF I’m the one standing there Its definitely LUST…hahahaha… you know, Robin has a very tantalizing eyes that even me can’t refuse(owhssss??? lol .. as if I had a personal experience with Robin). But I think it’s more than what meets Mariel’s eyes, I sincerely believe, it’s the Attention and Gentleness that Robin is very famous of (parang lechon ng Cebu?), that Mariel had experienced (and tasted? Hahahaha….okad?)

Anything that we dream of from someone that we love and that person failed to give will always be a vehicle for drifting apart from any relationship especially when somebody will start providing it. And the person who can provide it to you will always become your knight in shining armor despite glaring differences and obstructions.

why can't i let go of my past

...I've been kicked, punch, spit, and cursed and i almost lost my life...because my bro entered a frat and he committed violations to an opponent frat. Since he is all the time around his bros, he can't be touched and being revenged to. I, being secretly identified to be his sibling...i paid the cost...i have harbored those ill feelings deep inside me ----alone....alone...yes. I slowly moved on and lived a happy life after that, thought it was....later, after 30 years, of loving and living and leaving, i met a new young cute guy.... I secretly browsed his FB and knew that most of his friends are member of that frat. After 2 years, I have now the courage to ask him if indeed he is one of 'em. And the simple "yes" dumbfounded me...Whaat???? I shouted, pak! Pak! I have not controlled myself, my world became dark, I was trembling in anger and I was crying while I attacked him inside my car along a heavy trafficked area, I was out of control and the rest I don't know what I did. He just let me loose out my anger...